Gnothi Seauton

Well if your reading this, than your likely wondering what the hell is up with the subject. Millenia ago, inscribed at the Temple of Apollo at Delphi in Greece, were the words 'Know Thyself,' (side note: I attempted to make the subject show in Greek letters, but when I published it, it came out as something, well, it didn't look Greek to me, so back to the Roman alphabet it is, grrr.) Over the past week or so, I've had the opportunity to think about some things. You know when you get into one of those moods where you just start thinking about the past...well, that's what happened to me. Without going into all the details, I can say that I have come to the following conclusion: I have screwed myself up. I have trained myself to react to things in a certain way, to have a mindset about how events will play out, and it all has formed itself into a self-sustaining cycle. Now all this isn't to say I'm not a happy person or anything like that. All it says is that there is one area that for various reasons, I do not know how to fix. And to make it worse, talking about it with people cannot help. In fact I suppose I'm only writing this just for the hell of it. Only actions can fix it, but I don't know just what they should be. But then again, they do say that it isn't necessarily the destination, it is the journey...I have to put aside justifications, excuses, doubts, fears, hell, my entire past perhaps, and just make things work. For the few of you that might understand specifically what this is about, this might seem melodramatic, but with the amount of time I've had to think lately, it is anything but. To the rest of you that read this and sit dumbfounded in front of your screens, well, I'm not surprised. This is what you get for reading this totally random blog entry. Oh, and if your still here, I have the second part of my interview later this week. Stay tuned for details, video at 11.

Currently listening: It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) By R.E.M. Release date: 20 July, 200

Can't Sleep

Ok, so I was going to go to sleep a bit early tonight cause I've gotta be to work early, and it's going to be a long day, but you know what, it doesn't look like that's going to happen. The past few hours have made my mind going into a race, and now I've gotta burn it off somehow. I have an ominous feeling that something bad is going on with my friends in Arkansas. As of yet I don't have proof of this, only a voicemail that didn't sound quite right. It could be nothing, but its enough to put me on edge, especially with the mood I've been in. And another thing. I have, in many cases, a very sarcastic sense of humor. This does lead the occasional person to believe I'm an asshole, even those close to me. And just when you think you've figured out how people will react, you get thrown a curveball. I seriously don't know what to say to some of these people. I could probably go on and on about this, but it'll only serve to piss me off. So on a completely seperate note, to anyone that has ever asked themselves, what the hell is James doing in the picture on his profile, here is your answer. I am preparing to stab my best friend Steve. He had been taking random pictures of stuff, and while doing so, one of his roomates tossed me his sword (god only knows why he owns it), and told me to act as though I was going to kill Steve. They asked, and I delivered. As for why it's my pic, well I don't have many pictures of myself, and this seemed better than some alternatives. So I suppose I'll do one of these evil questionaires one of my friends has posted. I usually avoid these for what may end up being obvious reasons, but against my better judgment I'll do one. Maybe that'll put me in the mood to sleep.

Currently listening: Beverly Hills By Weezer Release date: 03 May, 2005