And We Lay Down On the Sand of the Sea

And before us animosity will stand and decree,

That we speak not of love, only blasphemy.

And in the distance, 6 others will curse me.

But that's alright, for I will watch them fall.

'7' - Prince

Today is pretty much fantastic. Coffee with Addie this morning. Errands with Charlene and Leota this afternoon. Trivia and watching the M's game with Katherine (and others perhaps?) on deck for this evening. As you'll read on you'll see why all I can say is that this week just keeps piling on more and more awesome. Definitely have been in need of that.

So dates keep getting pushed around so all I know is that the donation will be between the 10th and 17th at Legacy Good Samaritan Hospital in Portland, Oregon. Makes scheduling things a bit hard, but what can you do. What I can say is this, I think it will do me some good to be out of town for a while. Now this isn't for any bad reasons at all, merely to get some distance from all that is happening, and perhaps a little perspective. Things are great right now. I have tremendously little to complain about, and I am enjoying so many different things and people. I'm very optimistic about things at work, though the delays in the interview process are somewhat maddening. The donation thing has me excited, as does a secondary project I'm attempting based on it, details on that once I hash it out a bit more. I received an apology for things said about me that had cut me very deeply, but now make a lot more sense once an explanation was given (as it wasn't truly about me). But what kind of world would this be if I didn't have some problem to figure out. Unfortunately I haven't quite figured out the words yet that describe the problem (beyond what I allude to below), so you'll have to wait.

As for where we left off last time, part two of the conversation has come and gone, under circumstances that were slightly different (and by different I mean far less sober). It added a dimension to the discussion that was very unexpected. At least I think it was the change of sobriety that led to it, but I honestly don't know. A big part of round two is that I've been called on to talk about myself more, to explain what it is that has made me the person I am. I think I got out some of the more important details but it now predicates the need for a round three. I also was left wondering about some things left unsaid. Actually I take that back, also wondering about some things that very much were said. Regardless of what actually happens, I'm forced to ask myself a question. To what lengths will I go to find happiness. As someone who has been known as a moral compass for his friends, there comes a time when a man has to look after #1 first, and everyone else's feelings be damned.

I might have just reached that point.

Working Hard To Get My Fill, Everybody Wants a Thrill

Payin' anything to roll the dice, just one more time.

Some will win, some will lose, some were born to sing the blues.

Oh, the movie never ends, it goes on and on and on and on.

'Don't Stop Believin' - Journey

Last time I mentioned that relationships were changing and what you see today may not be what you see tomorrow. First, that wasn't just about me, that was about everyone. Second, that was a vague statement because I really didn't know what to say about it yet. That is starting to solidify in my mind just a bit. The first analogy that came to mind is that we are going to rearrange the deck-chairs on the Titanic. I don't truly expect bad things in this case, but it seemed too good not to write.

Someone told me recently that they tend to be cautious of anyone that befriends them after specifically not doing so (i.e. deciding after knowing someone for a decent length of time and only then being cool with them). I brought up the oft-told story of my dislike of Gabriel years ago, and how that changed into a friendship that I hold very dear now. People can change, pure and simple. However that doesn't mean that it isn't important to consider the motivation. Sometimes the answer to that is simple, for instance getting over whatever it was that led to the dislike. Other times it is something along the lines of 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' I suppose there are many others, but those seemed the most relevant.

Another part of that conversation centered around being close with people, and while this part was considerably more brief, it has kept me thinking ever since. It seems to me that you don't necessarily need to know all of what makes a person tick to be close with them. Now let me preface that with the fact that I love finding those things out, but that's just how I work. I suppose that most find me to be a good listener and take advantage of that fact tends to be integral as well. The fact that I don't necessarily discuss a lot of these things with my friends doesn't mean I'm trying to be distant. It seems to me that a lot of the bonds I've formed, especially in the more recent past, are based around the sharing of experiences, simply living life together and seeing what happens. However that seems to be changing as well. And for some reason this is the part that gets me wondering, not so much the part about befriending people long after meeting them. The following is not directed at one person, it applies to quite a few. But what I wonder is this; Why now? What is it that has changed so suddenly that is forcing us to reevaluate our relationships with the people around us. There will be many answers to this as it applies to numerous situations, but I think the answers are going to shape the months to come.

The last thing that stuck with me was a discussion about ex's, past and future (okay, that was cynical, even for me). I wander back again to last summer and the image of a light switch keeps coming to mind. I was going to give a variety of examples using all of us last year, but I'm gonna keep this one on me. Before most of our shenanigans started, I had my brief, well fling, for lack of better word but that seems wrong somehow, but when that reached the end of its predetermined time, I didn't give it anymore thought. Switch flipped. Then in a whole different part of the spectrum I had the one that kept going on/off/on/off. Never really knew how to figure that one out. As it turns out neither could anyone else. Good thing there was that it was based entirely on curiosity, so there were essentially no emotional ramifications. Lastly (though chronologically first) there was the one that interested me but didn't spark at all, so again, flipped off.

This year has started off completely different. Have you ever stuck the light-switch in the middle just to see which way it'll flip? Well that's what this feels like. Repeatedly. Right now this is just an observation, not a declaration of good or bad. However either way its going to be interesting. Part two of the conversation that spawned this is gonna happen soon, stay tuned.

In other news; if getting home at as late as I have the past few outings becomes the norm, then god help us all. I still can't process the past 12 hours. It was definitely all kinds of fun though, so it had that going for it.

It's Bugging Me, Grating Me, and Twisting Me Around

Yeah I'm endlessly caving in

And turning inside out.

Cause I want it now.

'Hysteria' - Muse

So here we are, well into 2010 and only now have I decided to finally begin writing again. I intended to when I first relocated my writings from the graveyard that is MySpace to here but I found myself not terribly motivated to do so. Hopefully a bit more of this to follow, as I'd finally like to start writing on various topics other than my life and the vague nature with which I tend to share it. However to start please indulge a rambling and very topic-jumping rant, mostly meant to catch everything up to the present day, while ignoring nearly the last half of 2009, because there really are no words for it at this point.

I find myself thinking about the immediate future and what changes it has in store. Much like the point at which I stopped writing last year, it seems that everything is in a state of flux. Relationships have ebbed and flowed, people have come and gone and may even now come back, and everything you see today could be nothing you see tomorrow. Rambling and vague you say? Well bear with me. From a personal standpoint, I am throwing most of my time at work into getting promoted, and partaking in activities there that will facilitate that. And my time outside of work? I think that the best way to describe it is that the next few months, which to many will be an attempt to outshine last year, to me will be an attempt to finish what last year started. I found that I understood myself and what I want a lot more after last year, but there is still just a bit more to figure out. What I can say is that I want three things right now. One of them will improve my financial situation. One is what I want to use that improved financial situation to finish. And third, well that gets to remain vague for now, but probably not for much longer. What matters though is that I'm close to happy, and for me that is saying quite a lot.

As for the general going's on in my life I would like to touch on a few key points:

April 2nd - Muse at Key Arena. Best damn concert I've ever seen. They are easily my favorite band at this point, and favorites aren't something I tend to pick easily. Normally I just have a group of things that I like a lot. Was made even better having gone with Sabrina and Gayle (her first concert!!)

April 10th - Leota and Joe's Birthdays. Leota turned two. Holy crap. All I'm gonna say on that for now is that one of the things that brings me the most joy is being able to live with her now and watch her grow every single day. As for the Joe half, I will not comment much for fear of the wrath of Steve who will walk in and stab me for even mentioning it (he was forced to leave so that Leo could come home and sleep). What I will say is that we experienced a veritable smörgåsbord of meats. And that the buffalo was best described as 'majestic.'

April 12th - The Return of Kevin Price. One might almost forget just how great conversations with him, sober or drunk, tend to be. Almost. This night couldn't have been more filled with more epicness. From food at Moon Temple (and yes, one drink, but only one as we wanted to be able to not die that early in the night), then the usual Karaoke at Dante's. This also gave me a taste of what we may have in store for adventures in the coming months. Could be entertaining. And by could I mean oh god everybody should go by themselves a helmet right now. Side-note, got one of the strangest complements I've ever received while there.

April 13th - A Very Intense Hour. So I'm attempting to become and in-home Geek Squad Agent. Better pay, new work environment, no downside in my mind. However the biggest road block based on prior experience is the test you have to take to qualify. I took it last year and didn't do so hot. This time not only did I pass, I only missed one question, and I completed it in eight minutes. Let's just say it was deemed to be 'impressive' by all those in attendance. Moments after finishing that I checked my phone and noticed a call from a New York phone number. This could only be DKMS, the organization that runs the marrow registry I've been dealing with since I was first a match last fall. The message was very concise and had amazing news. For this 2nd person that I tentatively matched in January, I was confirmed to be the most compatible and the doctors have chosen me to be the donor. So basically my day started with me helping people fix their stuff, which was going well and kept me in a good mood (combined with my still fresh memories of the night before, which made me kinda giggly). Then it escalated to be an amazing day when I crushingly demonstrated my competence. Then I decided I needed to top that, and what a better way to do so than saving a life. Go big or go home my friends. Trust me, you'll be reading much more on this topic as the process continues (including tomorrow when the details of the donation are revealed).

So I think I'm gonna close it with that for now. Just a dip back into the pool of writing for now. Hope you come back for more as I intend to have plenty of it to go around. Plus it will give me time to figure this site out...hmmm, what kind of labels to add to these posts? do these colors make it easy to read? what do these symbols mean? oooh...a monetize button (yeah, cause this is gonna be a big moneymaker, my life of intrigue)....okay, goodnight.

P.S. OH GOD, ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE STORY. Merely for sake of notation for now, it is important to mention that April 5th provided another crazy night at Dante's, but all you need to know is that the power went out, probably because we rocked Queen so hard, and Scott tells the best stories (though my retellings add a certain je ne se quoi). I will touch back on that another day.