Dreams, Dreams, of When We'd Just Started Things

Dreams of me and you, it seems, it seems.
That I can't shake those memories.
I wonder if you feel the same way too.

'Littlest Things' - Lilly Allen
(Courtesy of Gabriel)

Sometimes in the course of ones travels, certain things become clear. Sometimes it comes in a moment of deep introspection. In others it is simply a random observation. And sometimes it is from something in between. Hopefully these bits of knowledge will help you in your own travels.

1.) You cannot see things that are not there.
Leaving Dante's last night, Gabriel and I told Joel that just ahead was the spot from where we recently liberated a street sign. To assist in the storytelling I told Joel that "the sign is right there, but you can't see it because we took it already."

2.) Driving does not require all of one's skills.
Just a few minutes later, while headed toward the freeway, I nearly clipped a curb while making a right turn. I explained that this was due to the fact that my right contact was not in, therefore my vision was slightly compromised. Gabriel volunteered to drive. Not three minutes prior, he had slipped on ice while attempting to enter the car. I said that he could not drive, given that he could not in fact even stand up. The reply? "I don't have to stand up to drive." The logic here is undeniable.

3.) Golf is not an indoor sport.
How is it that I was berated because I hit a door frame while Matt managed to hit himself. I still believe that I was the winner.

4.) Everything that can happen, does happen, somewhere.
There is a theory that there are an infinite number of universes, making it so that every decision, every little change in every little place, occurs. This means that in some universe out there, Gabriel does not have bad knees. In that same universe, I have chlamydia. Indeed fate is a cruel mistress.

5.) There are always menu options that aren't listed on the menu.
Jamba Juice apparently has 'boosts' for anything that may ail you. However I have to assume that to provide the boost that was promised, my juice would have to fuck me. A reacharound from a liquid would also be very, very messy.

6.) Running is bad for your health.
Bleeding nipples and burning penises. STD's are not the real threat.

7.) If you peer into someone's eyes, you are bound to find out the truth.
There have been many jokes made that the baby pictured in my profile pic, beautiful little Leota, is in fact mine. So when someone not around for these jokes says to me, "I can't figure out how she has such blue eyes when neither parent does," I can't help but laugh. My specific proof has always been that she has my eyes.

I'm guessing I missed something in all of this, as there was much wisdom to be spread in the last 24 hours. Weather permitting, I may have more to share soon.