Give Me a Shot to Remember, And You Can Take All the Pain Away From Me

A kiss and I will surrender, the sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead.
A light to burn all the empires, so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be,
In love with all of these vampires, so you can leave like the sane abandoned me.

'The Sharpest Lives' - My Chemical Romance

The difference was noticable obviously, because everyone seemed to sense it. Then again perhaps the giant freaking smile on my face made it apparent. Steve commented that it looked like I was "drunk on life," (ironic due to the small hangover I was still nursing), others today just commented that I looked happy, always stating this with surprise in their voices. For the past two days, I have been the happiest I have been in quite a while. There are still things to be dealt with, maybe. I'm not sure I care at this point because I believe I have, at least in my own mind, if not with those involved, reached a conclusion. There is an understanding of what started all of this, that while it was in some ways disturbing, it also shouldn't have been a surprise because many people made comments to me saying the same thing.

The words that have been stuck in my head are 'shiny new toy.' They are the perfect description of what I experienced. Had I known then what I know now, it would have been obvious. Unfortunately that doesn't negate anything I said or did, or those things that I wanted to say and do but either didn't know how or thought it was unwanted. I don't know why it has taken until now for this fairly simple idea to sink in, or why it is as comforting as it has been, but whatever. There were a few other words that helped me through it too, but those are too....mean....to say here. So for those I told them to, I hope you thought they were as funny as I did. God it feels good to be free of these chains.

I have to say that Saturday night really helped this throught process along. Kevin, Joey, Steph, Matt, Hetty, Michelle, Byron, Randy, etc....good times indeed. If you leave this blog with any type of takeaway, let it be this. Vodka is best served chilled, and spaghetti is best served cooked. ?The More You Know?

God damn it....those are supposed to be music notes....they showed up fine when I previewed....screw you myspace. For effect, please sing the last sentence ala the old NBC commericals. Oh memories :p